Cop Simulator

I was very tempted to bring up certain current events concerning cops and chose not to satirize it as I still feel guilt about the LAST comic I did about an event some would consider similar in nature.

Anyways, I had a friend who use to be a cop before he became a high school teacher, and he told me quite a bit about the job. Mostly that it involves a lot of paperwork. The job is mostly paperwork. When you’re waiting to catch someone speeding to give them a ticket, you’re doing paperwork. And when you catch someone speeding and give them a ticket, congratulations you just made yourself more paperwork. Arrested someone? Paperwork. Got shot at? Paperwork. Shot someone? PAPERWORK.

Story lines about cops in fiction are always over-glorifying the position, Battlefield Hardline being the most recent. For starters, we’re dealing with a franchise called Battlefield. I wouldn’t use such a term to define the streets of regular civilians. But all the stuff that happens in these stories, vehicles exploding, buildings falling over (things that are no doubt killing hundreds of bystanders), firefights with bank robbers and gang members, they would all bare horrific consequences for everyone involved. And for the most part, if things got as insane as they do in these story lines, typically the National Guard steps in, not the local police force. Kudos to The Dark Knight for acknowledging that. Good on you Commissioner Gordon. You know wassup.

Am I saying that there is no fun in just ignoring the consequences and just enjoying a story where a regular ol’ copper goes to extremes to bring down the bad guy? Sure. Crackdown is one of my favorite video games of all time, and in that game you’re pretty much an over-powered monster who can do whatever he wants. Sure the police force will turn on you if you start taking down civilians but lets be honest, they never stand a chance. And perhaps the fun there stems from the fact that you are acting above the law.

It really comes down to the game’s intention. Crackdown isn’t catering to realism by any means. Battlefield as a franchise, however, does. And if a cop is doing their job right, then realistically, it’s incredibly boring.

To be fair, you can say the game is about those times when it isn’t boring. I guess it just comes down to how picky you want to be about it. But no matter how you go about it…

PAPER.

MOTHER.

[FRONK]ING.

WORK.